SICK DAY

Sorry no post yesterday...
Very VERY sick...
This is pretty much the extent of what I'll be writing today...
Battling evil germs passed on to me by EVIL sick clients that know they shouldn't come in for their appointments when they are under the weather...
Hopefully "Airbourne" lives up to it's claim to fame...
PEACE.

UPDATE

Hiccups
Backache
Sleepless Nights
"Name Calling"
Bedroom Painting
Uncomfortably Hot/Cold
These are the things that have been going on with the lovely wife and I this week so far...
The sprout has been hiccuping off and on for the past week/week and a half? It's really weird, because you can feel each little twitch on the surface of the wife's stomach. What's even weirder is the fact that the sprout even HAS hiccups. I thought they were caused by air becoming trapped in the lungs. How can air become trapped when 1. The baby is submersed in amniotic fluid and 2. If said baby is submersed in said fluid, wouldn't LIQUID fill the lungs when their mouth was opened, or if the sprout inhaled? So the question we need answered is, how does air even get to the lungs? I guess we'll have to ask the doc.
The wife is suffering from backaches and it is not fun for her. She has a job where she stands all day, and I think that's wearing on her more and more as the baby grows inside her. I have been trying to get her to just sit and take it easy, but she's pretty independent and doesn't seem to want to give the impression that she can't pull her own weight. I guess I have to finagle some way to get her to not stress about seeming slack.
This weekend I slept on the couch a couple of times till pretty early the next morning so as to help the wife stretch out and be more comfy while in bed. She hasn't had a good night's sleep for quite a few weeks because basically, she's COMPLETELY UNCOMFORTABLE. She isn't able to sleep on her back, which would be the most comfortable for her. Sleeping this way is frowned upon by the doc, because it could potentially harm the baby. So, she must sleep on her side which hurts her back, and hips. I really feel for her, so sleeping downstairs isn't so bad. (Plus- I got to watch whatever action movies I wanted, eat whatever annoyingly crunchy foods I wanted, and stretch out as much as I wanted without hearing bed hogging complaints)
The only drawback to sleeping on the couch is the dogs. One is about 50lbs., and the other is 75, and they BOTH try and squeeze onto a couch which, when unfolded is about the size of a twin bed.
INCONCEIVABLE.
Still looking for boy's names...
We have one, and we have two, maybe three solid girl's names, but we are gonna sit on those till the sprout's birthday.
Each of us has made the mistake of telling various people some of the monikers we had been kicking around, and they were met with crazy scrutiny. so we have discontinued telling the names we may stick the kid with. We have some good ones, but we want to have at least two or three for each gender on standby. That way, when we see the baby we can name he of she accordingly based on their appearance, and demeanor.
We spent a total of about 6 hours (not consecutively) painting bees, and flowers in the sprout's room this weekend. there are quite a few bumble bees (A few folks said they were symbols of good luck), and their stripes are a pain in the posterior. There are some really thin lines, and staying within the lines are next to impossible. Ah, what the hey, it will all be worth it when the room is finished.
and finally, the wife is pretty much ALWAYS hot, and I seem to be cold all the time...
I HATE being cold.
Winter is coming.
I HATE winter.
We will soon fight about the temperature on the thermostat. (I love that word-I mean, c'mon how often does one say "thermostat"?)
I'm sure I will bite my tongue and the bullet and just put on a million layers, and a couple of blankets when sitting around the house. Lord knows you do not want to be in the same room with an uncomfortable pregnant lady.
I'm sure I'll get it for that one...

Well, hopefully my oral diarrhea wasn't too boring, but I need to keep some important people abreast of all the crazy crap going on with the wife the sprout and I.
PEACE.

RIOT!!!

I am currently sitting at the receptionist's desk greeting people as they enter the building, fielding questions/concerns, and booking appointments for various co-workers. Basically what I am doing is busy work, AND IT IS FRIGGIN' KILLING ME!!!
Why am I at work??? It's the day after Thanksgiving for Chrissakes! Work is the last place people should be today! What with all the sales going on, the dissipating ozone induced unseasonably warm weather 56 degrees(!!???!!), and the slow emergence from the turkey comas we are all going through, people forced to work today have every ounce of my sympathy.
Which brings me to my point. This is a call to arms! Everyone forced to work today should revolt in their own personal manner, whether it be taking 10 extra minutes for lunch, passing out anonymous copies of your butt around the office, or simply leaving, only to return on monday. Do it I say! Show the man the power we wield as the people who keep his companies going! With Solidarity, we can all feel a little better about being stuck in the workplace when the more fortunate are out and about enjoying their short weeks/long weekends! Anarchy in the workplace!!! The degree is your perrogative! Help yourself to some personal vindication before your day ends!
Me? I have had 8 cups of coffee so far, and I plan to talk incessantly due to my caffeine buzz- thus getting on all who enter my vicinity's nerves. This will undoubtedly keep everyone away from me, and I will be able to relax and do things like write riot inducing words on this blog.
PEACE, and enjoy your weekend, be it long or short.

"What Am I, Chopped Liver?"

Today at work someone said to me that they were sure that the sprout would be a beautiful baby.
I must say that I was quite bothered by the remark the individual made. Well, it wasn't the remark, but WHY they felt that way is what bothered me. Under normal circumstances, I would have been extremely proud to hear how beautiful my kid will more than likely be, but this comment was made AFTER seeing a photo of my wife. There have been many opportunities for the person to tell me how they felt, based on just my appearance, but because this person waited until seeing my wife to make the comment, my feelings were initially kinda bruised. Now I know that I'm not gonna make People Magazine's most sexy list, (although some of the entries are kinda suspect) but I also know I am NOT the hardest individual to look at. I guess I felt I deserved some of the credit for making a nice looking kid.
Ego aside, the fact that this person waited to pay their idea of a compliment after seeing my wife wasn't what Really bothered me either. It was what they said next. "Interracial couples always make the MOST beautiful babies. They seem to get the best qualities from each race."
WHAT???
O.k.- maybe I SHOULD have let them know how offensive it was to me, but the only response I could muster up was "thanks" and a half-smile as I walked away.
Maybe I SHOULD have explained that their "compliment" left me feeling that in their eyes, my relationship with someone who shared their cultural and biological makeup was the only thing that gave me validity.
Maybe I SHOULD have said "Yeah, the sprout will be one heckuva good looking kid, but not because I happen to be a brown guy, and my wife is a few shades fairer than I. Our kid will be beautiful because of the confidence, the honor, the love, the consideration for others, the sense and knowledge of self, and the strengths of our ancestors that we will express to and instill in them."
Oh yeah, my great smile will help too.
PEACE.

Nighty Night...

I mentioned a while back that I tend to have some pretty weird dreams...
This weekend, I had a dream where it was night, and warm out-I'm guessing it was warm because I didn't FEEL cold, and I did not have on any winter clothing. So anyway, I'm standing in the middle of some kind of junkyard, and then I find myself being picked up by the back of my shirt by an index finger and a thumb. (I didn't see them, I just knew they were there) Then I am tossed into a car compactor, and the damn thing starts up! I am going nuts. I know this, because my heart feels like it's gonna bust out of my chest, and when I woke up, my chest still was kinda tight. So the compactor comes to life, making a rusty, whiney, noise, and I just know my goose is cooked. My heart is pounding, and the compactor is closing in on me. I then look up at the opening which is becoming slimmer by the second, and I see these Cherubs. Not the traditional baby kind, but these are Adults. Four guys that are overweight, and hairy. Yeah, pretty gross/weird. They are held in the air by small wings, and are covered in some kind of gauze. They just flit around in the air, (I can hear their wings- they're kind of sound like wasps) and look down on me. They are NOT helping me, they just keep looking down on me and smiling like big, fat, angel bastards. So as the compactor closes completely shut, I strangely did not feel any pain aside from my constricted chest. After it's job is complete, it slowly begins to retract back to it's ready position. I am still alive mind you. There is something totally wrong though. All my bones have been pulverized, but I am otherwise still intact. Liquified, but still intact.
My body has become the same consistency of warm wax. The BLOB if you will. I then begin to ooze out of the machines rusty cracks, and holes, and then spread out over the ground. I am unable to control myself, I guess I became a human puddle. I could still see those big cherubs flying above me smiling. I remember cursing them at the top of my liquified lungs, using some of the worst words I have ever used in some kind of bubbling, gurgling, slobbery voice. And that's pretty much all I think happened. I guess that's when I woke up.
Stay tuned for more creepy, weirdo, crackpot, and disturbing dreams cooked up in my noggin' while I slumber.
PEACE.

Synopsis the second

Not too much to say today...
Sorry about the lack of writing that I'm doing...
My dogs are doing that "play" fighting thing, rolling around on the floor, snapping at each other, and barking a LOT!
It is killing me to stay put in this chair and continue scribing-when what I really want to do is banish them from our room, and close the door-but I know they will bark all nite long until we let them back in...
The lovely wife is on the bed reading a book written by Jenny McCarthy- "Baby Laughs" about all the funny stuff involved in being a mother. No doubt it's chock full of poop and pee jokes and various other types of toilet humor...
(And it's right up our alley)
The dogs are now taking turns "playing piggyback"...
Yusef Lateef's "Poor Butterfly" is lulling me to sleep...
I had to respond "I-O" to three "O-H's" today. People are really getting kinda crazy about the Ohio State/Michigan game...
The dogs are still raising one Hell of a ruckus, so out they go...
Thanksgiving is only 7 days away! Turkey Day Baby!!!
I Seriously can't wait...
The Daily Show is on, and it sounds pretty funny...
One dog is barking at the closed door of our room...
The other is intermittently growling...
The wife is chuckling at the Daily Show, and when she laughs out loud, it has GOT to be funny...
Right now, they are doing a review of crazy inventors. Folks who invented Snap on hair, (Plugs are grafted to the scalp, and the toupee is then snapped on), a SCARY men's chastity belt, (Adverse effects can be Ball Stretching), and the "straight" creator of the Gaydar, a device which helps gay men and women to detect each other...
Although he is a dancer, interior designer, wedding photographer, theater student, and singer with a girlfriend, he maintains that he is straight when Stephen Colbert asks if he's gay several times after reviewing his interests.
Umm, I guess it can be possible...
Uhh- Go Bucks I guess...
Alright, I'm missing the show, and I am really getting tired of the boys growling and barking at the door...
PEACE.

Goddamn Cat Had My Tongue...

I encountered a woman today who quite regularly visits my place of employment whom I routinely ask how her mom is doing.
And as tears welled, she then explained that her mother had developed leukemia and wasn't doing so well.
Her mom had been within the throes of an all consuming depression, on a gradual downward spiral for the last two years. She was unable- or unwilling to smile and carry on a conversation, and was becoming an empty husk. There had been no change in her condition until the day her daughter made an appointment to see me. During her appointment, I cracked jokes, inquired about her family, and background, and the things which made her appreciate being alive.
The conversation was great, and she willingly offered up tidbits about herself that folks are normally not too keen about divulging to strangers.
The daughter later informed me that her mom had been prompting conversations similar to the one we had with she and her sister. At last! a glimmer of hope! When the daughter told me this, you wouldn't believe how good that made me feel. I had played a part in someone's recovery from depression man!
But alas, that notion was nothing but folly.
Now mom was doing worse than ever, and steadily on the decline. She doesn't expect her to be around for much longer, because it seems as if she's simply shutting down. She does not eat, she goes days without performing basic personal hygiene rituals, and she speaks less and less.
After hearing all this, and seeing how bad the daughter was hurting, I racked my brain trying to come up with some uplifting words I could tell this woman who seemed to want to hear SOMETHING that would/could make all the crap she has been dealing with seem a little less crummy-

But I had nothing...
Life can really SUCK sometimes man.

PEACE.

Why Am I doing this?

The lovely wife has provided me with the subject for this evening's writing. She pretty much asked me what the appeal of Blogging was. She asked if I had ever kept a diary before. (men keep JOURNALS my dear) My response was "no". She also asked the reason why I almost religiously log on daily and check out what people are writing.
My knee-jerk response was, " because I'm nosy".
Now that may be the truth, but it's only the surface reason. I AM nosy, but I am very interested in reading what people who share my sense of humor, musical tastes, quirky personality, and love for writing have to say. Honestly, it's IMPORTANT to me. If I can encounter and interact with like-minded individuals on a daily basis, then it makes me feel a little more normal. Heaven forbid I appear as conformist-Lord knows I do all I can to prevent this, but I do want to experience some semblance of normalcy-
even if it IS among the fringe of society.
I think MY main reason for providing a window for any and everyone to peer through is simply because I want to be heard.
And I believe that's why everyone that dedicates time, energy, and brain power to spilling their guts online does so.
I appreciate the individuals who express themselves on a daily basis and the wonderful food for thought they provide.
PEACE.

Bruce Lee?

I'm starting to worry about who might be inside my lovely wife. What I mean is, I think there may be a chinese karate master currently living inside her belly. Every time I go to feel the lovely wife's stomach, I feel a THUMP! Not just a bump mind you, but a World Wrestling Federation worthy shoulder block type thing. What worries me most about our active little sprout is the fact that he/she may be particularly athletic.
Because I, dear readers-am NOT.
Now, I Am actually Extremely coordinated- I truly have "cat-like reflexes" (This fact I always point out to my wife), and I have a good sense of balance, but it's the hand eye coordination of the "traditional" sports that gets me. I could easily scale a rock-climbing wall, and I'm pretty good at Muy Thai Kickboxing according to my ex-trainer, (I had to quit because of my work schedule) and I was/am a pretty fast runner, But I seem to have problems with launching a basketball and getting it to successfully pass thru a hoop on even a slightly consistent basis. I can't seem to catch a football, (I think my hands, chest, and arms are made of rubber) and you can forget about me having a respectable batting average.
The lovely wife was good at baseball, my brother was a good football player, and my dad was good at basketball. So honestly, I really do hope the kid IS good at "traditional" sports. She/he will give those guys someone to live vicariously through. And maybe, just maybe the kid will turn out to have "sweet Muy Thai skills", and "cat-like reflexes" like their dear old dad. I look forward to climbing faux mountains, and giving evil-doers an extended front kick with you kiddo!
Peace.

I've Returned- And I Come Bearing Gifts...

Well, I have travelled far and wide across the huge scape of weblogs, and I have found a number of blogs and sites that are intelligent, informative, insightful, and just plain funny as hell. (Not to mention COOL.)
Check em' out, see what ya think, and feel free to give me your thoughts on the ones you like and don't.
Brazilian Muse, Fuse #8,
Properly Chilled, Argle Bargle!, Phil Yanov, Rex L. Camino, Matthew Jenkins Adult Swim, Geeky Mom, Sarah and the Goon Squad, Because I'm Your Father, Under Construction, Zany Mothering, and Music and Culture
Enjoy.
PEACE.

Twist Party Pt. 2

Went to see Los Straitjackets Friday, and it was great! The Twist Party was rockin' (even though I didn't twist).
The Jackets were VERY tight, and they even helped with vocals!
Kaiser George sang a lot more than he did last time we saw them, and he was also much better.
And then theres the Famous Pontani Sisters. How can I possibly describe the burlesque-y goodness that each of their swaying, twisting hips provided.
Unfortunately my camera was on the fritz, because there were loads of photos to be taken. Not just of the concert either. There were a ton of Greasers there clad in white tees with cigarette boxes rolled in the sleeves, gas station attendant jumpers, and slicked back hair. There were also lots of cool looking pseudo-Betty Pages, all in different getups, but that was pretty much the extent of their differences. The real standout was a blonde number who looked like she just stepped out of a time machine. This doll was straight out of the 50's! She had on a leopard print pencil skirt, and a black angora sweater. Va-Va-Voooom! The lovely wife and our partner in crime Scotty-D had a lot of fun, and whenever Los Straitjackets are in town, go see them by any means necessary!
PEACE.
Oh yeah, get out and vote tomorrow!

TWIST PARTY!!!

LOS STRAITJACKETS
TONIGHT
BABY!!!!
THEY WILL BE DOING SONGS FROM THEIR NEW CD "TWIST PARTY"
I WILL BE WRITING ABOUT THEM TOMORROW!
THESE PICS ARE FROM THE LAST SHOW WE ATTENDED (OBVIOUSLY A CHRISTMAS SHOW)
FEATURING THE PONTANI SISTERS DOING THE GO-GO VOODOO THAT THEY DO SO WELL, AND KAISER GEORGE ON VOCALS DADDY-O!

YAWNNNN...

Still searching for interesting blogs to tell about. I've found 4 noteworthy ones, but I want to read more entries before I scribe any kudos.
It's late and I'm tired.
PEACE.

"They're Coming To Get You Barbara"...

Halloween rambling...
I was a bandito at work today, complete with a cool sombrero, and a HOT ASS poncho. But because I wanted to stay true to the game, I kept the damn thing on all day. Before work, I went to K-Mart and Target to find cowboy pistols and holsters, but it was to no avail. Gone are the days of playing "cowboys and indians" with colt .45 cap guns with plastic "ivory" handles and silvery polished finishes. We have become a society where it is not kosher to let our kids carry, conceal, and brandish toy guns. Sneaking up on unsuspecting individuals and either demanding money, or popping caps at them, seem to have fallen by the wayside.
(Sigh)

Tonite for Halloween we popped corn, drank hot apple cider, ate large amounts of miniature candy bars, and watched Dawn of the Dead. It was pretty fun to hang with the lovely wife and shovel goodies while sitting in the dark watching a SCARY movie.
I don't know, that movie- zombie movies in general scare the crap out of me. I think it's the fact that they eat people alive.
That, coupled with the fact that they never give up when chasing you. They will chase you to the end of the earth to get a taste of your flesh. That is the stuff of nightmares.

Work was crummy today. (That's about all I can say about it right now)

Although the sprout has been flipping and flopping inside the lovely wife, we haven't seen any more body parts protruding from her belly. (see Leg Bone Connected To The... post)

We didn't give out candy to the trick or treaters tonite. I feel bad.

I think I am going to dedicate a day where I write about the weirdest dream I have each week. I tend to dream every nite, and they are usually some doozies. I'm sure I will dream about Zombies chasing me tonite. It won't be the first.

Happy Halloween children of the night! (to be spoken with a spooky Bela Lugosi accent)
PEACE.