Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Goddamn Cat Had My Tongue...

I encountered a woman today who quite regularly visits my place of employment whom I routinely ask how her mom is doing.
And as tears welled, she then explained that her mother had developed leukemia and wasn't doing so well.
Her mom had been within the throes of an all consuming depression, on a gradual downward spiral for the last two years. She was unable- or unwilling to smile and carry on a conversation, and was becoming an empty husk. There had been no change in her condition until the day her daughter made an appointment to see me. During her appointment, I cracked jokes, inquired about her family, and background, and the things which made her appreciate being alive.
The conversation was great, and she willingly offered up tidbits about herself that folks are normally not too keen about divulging to strangers.
The daughter later informed me that her mom had been prompting conversations similar to the one we had with she and her sister. At last! a glimmer of hope! When the daughter told me this, you wouldn't believe how good that made me feel. I had played a part in someone's recovery from depression man!
But alas, that notion was nothing but folly.
Now mom was doing worse than ever, and steadily on the decline. She doesn't expect her to be around for much longer, because it seems as if she's simply shutting down. She does not eat, she goes days without performing basic personal hygiene rituals, and she speaks less and less.
After hearing all this, and seeing how bad the daughter was hurting, I racked my brain trying to come up with some uplifting words I could tell this woman who seemed to want to hear SOMETHING that would/could make all the crap she has been dealing with seem a little less crummy-

But I had nothing...
Life can really SUCK sometimes man.


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